The Experience so far

Shortly after I separated from my husband, my friend Tom suggested I keep details  of  all the  men I dated or had relationships with, on the basis that it would make a really good story.  I laughed, with all the optimism of a woman who remembers how easy it was to find a man in her twenties, and ignored his advice.

So, here I am, married once (well, twice, if you count the fake wedding I was a part of earlier this year to get free drinks) 30 somethingish, apparently normal, with no peculiar facial features (unless you count those hastily plucked chin hairs that pop out from time to time) on what seems like the ‘How I Met Your Mother’ version of a hunt for love.

Earlier this year, I spoke briefly to a clairvoyant (as every slightly disillusioned woman in her thirties is wont to do from time to time) who assured me that 2010 was my year to (and I quote) “Find a relationship that will go the distance”.

With what optimism did I start the year!  Admittedly, not even a remotely eligible prospect appeared before I set off for 10 weeks in Europe in April, but, by this I was cheered.  Everybody knows that the TAM (Typical Aussie Male) is a commitment phobe with a lazy attitude toward romance and relationships in general- and the rest are all married.

Super, I thought- I’m going to meet the next Mr Sparkles while traveling.  He’ll be from the US, or European (although hopefully not French, everyone knows they cheat on their wives) and with what bliss will we live between our home countries.

To recap- Europe was a blast in the snogging stakes- from the pimply youth I smooched in Scotland, the Hungarian who managed to lick both the roof of my mouth and my cheek, the Aussie bloke with the washboard abs, the German Indian slave, the 21year old American boy who complained because there were  ‘old’ people staying in his hostel (apparently they were nearly 40!) and who tried to bite my face off, a TAM, who kissed me twice then suggested we go back to his, and not one, but two love struck Spaniards from the same night, and to round it all off, a dude in a band with a tiny wee baby’s mouth but a tongue to rival an aardvark.

In short, a couple of fellows I liked, many I didn’t, and definitely no future Mr Sparkles.

Slightly disillusioned at the end of Snogfest 2010, but illuminated in many other life changing ways, I returned to Oz, got on with life and kept an eye out for an ATAM (Atypical Aussie male).

Which brings me up till today.  Yep, it is 19 December 2010.  I’m feeling that the window of opportunity to find a relationship that will go the distance is shrinking to the size of the crotch of a hobbit sized man I went on a date with last week.  What does this mean?  A chance for you to share the Tina Sparkles Experience, as it happens.

Saddle up kids, this could be one heck of a ride.

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About The Tina Sparkles Experience

Welcome- these are travel and dating stories with a difference- there is no doubt Tina Sparkles has the ability to find the humour in any situation. Every blog is guaranteed to be a laugh- hope you enjoy!

One Response to “The Experience so far”

  1. I’m totally in for the ride Tina. Can’t wait to hear more about Aardvark tongues. Hilarious! x

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