Tina’s Top 10 Tips- ‘What not to do on a first date’

  1. Don’t eat corn on the cob.  Corn on the cob is NOT first date food.
  2. Don’t buy ‘Burnt Caramel’ ice-cream in a cone, and drive your date home eating said ice-cream while wearing a pale blue singlet on a hot Brisbane day in a car with no air con.  It can have him looking at your chesty la-rou for all the wrong reasons.
  3. Avoid ordering fillings in sandwiches that are not in bite sized pieces while on a date.  For instance, a BLT can be fraught with danger.  I once bit into said sandwich, only to have a whole rasher of bacon flopping around on my chin.  Awkward.*
  4. Don’t fall off your chair, particularly if sober.  There is simply no way to recover from this.  Believe me.
  5. Don’t sit for two hours after lunch, smiling in your most winning way to a potential suitor, without checking your teeth for food remnants.
  6. Don’t tell your sisters, or your friend Tom, where you are going on a date.
  7. Please people, don’t tell stories about tape worms or horses bottoms or horse’s sheaths, or how you cleaned a sheath, on a first date.  You have to be very dashing and charismatic for this to work in your favour.
  8. Animals and first dates don’t mix.  This one time, my friend set me up with her boyfriend’s friend, and we went round to my ‘date’s’ house.  He took my girlfriend and I out the back to show us his dog (an actual dog!) which he let out of its cage.  It promptly ran over and bit me.  Five stitches were required.  It could only happen to me- but if it happens to you, let me know.
  9. Whatever you do, don’t mention that you work for the tax department.  This can result in a false reading for the date- you know, they are glamoured by your amazing job, and can fail to like you for just you.  Tax is just so darn saxy- it happens to me all the time.
  10. Avoid opening champagne bottles.  When the cork explodes into your eye, there is no way to cover this up…. You can’t possibly hide in the toilet for a week.


Hope these help.  Feel free to share your first date tips on my comments.

Cheers, Tina Arena

*Yep.  2 and 3 was the same date. The date was Party of Five boy.  It’s probably all becoming clear to you now…

Dressing as a bumblebee can be endearing, but I caution against it on a first date

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About The Tina Sparkles Experience

Welcome- these are travel and dating stories with a difference- there is no doubt Tina Sparkles has the ability to find the humour in any situation. Every blog is guaranteed to be a laugh- hope you enjoy!

One Response to “Tina’s Top 10 Tips- ‘What not to do on a first date’”

  1. I love these tips and could have used them in my dating days – particularly the tip about discussing worms and horse sheaths – apparently I am too charisma-challenged to pull this one off – pardon the pun.

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