Tips for meeting men in the modern world…

There comes a point in a 30 something’s life when friends and family start to express concern for your ongoing single status.  Everyone’s an expert, and I commonly get “Have you thought about internet dating?” (oh no, THAT never occurred to me) and “Do your friends know any single men?”

The family, however, go the more direct approach.  For instance, my step-mum, Hester, and my sister T-Giggle, (who are desperate to be granny and aunty) suggested I take matters into my own hands and start to think about having a baby on my own.  I’m expecting a turkey baster for my birthday.

Even my Grandad is not above helping me procure him a great grandchild, to which end he adopts the subtle as a sledgehammer approach.  While at a party recently,  I was chatting to a good looking, apparently normal and lovely Irish bloke, when Grandad stepped in and asked:

“Excuse me.  What are your intentions with respect to my granddaughter?”

Then later, (when he was rather keen to get home), commented to the room at large:

“Just swap numbers and get it over with.”  Awwwwkward!

See, the thing is, if you want some novel advice, or to escape your well meaning relatives, you’ve got to move out of your usual circle of influence.   For those of you in the ‘have a relationship’ category, you may be surprised how helpful folks are when it comes to getting you some romantic good times.  For example, my work colleague and friend Holly advised that I:

“Start going to church, so you can meet men”

Gold.  Or perhaps Gawd.  (I did buy some “What would Jesus do?” sticky notes though.)

But without a doubt, the most interesting advice I received recently, came from some of my service providers.

When your hairdressers get involved….

Getting 1920s glam at Flavr, with Julie

I was  getting my hair done at the brilliant Flavr Hair Studio in Woolloongabba, when the team dropped a few gems on me that I’d like to share with you.

Now, in the couple or three hours that I was there, a number of staff members were involved in my fablufacation and with each, the conversation turned (not by me) to my (‘we cant believe it’s possible you’re not shacked up’) situation.

Novel Advice #1

Lexi (the apprentice) decided to share with me all the dating wisdom she had accumulated in her 20 years.

“There are just no men in Brisbane.  What you need is a complete change.  

And I thought, ‘Like what a new hair-do?’ and she said:

“Have you thought about moving to another city?

Cheese sauce! Times are tough indeed for the modern single woman! Sadly, ladies, she didn’t mention where this mythical city could be found.

However, having said that… if anyone can direct me to the single-normal-non-fat-non-smelly-unmarried-man-who’s not hung up on his last girlfriend anywhere in the known Universe, I might well consider it.

Novel Advice #2

Then Julie mentioned she knew the PERFECT guy for me… only that he finally got desperate, and shacked up with a “possessive dominant cow” (her words not mine).

Let me just divert slightly by saying what is WITH that?  We all know that couple, the b-arch and the otherwise great but heavily-under-the-thumb partner. Why do us normal, supportive, fun, happy girls only get the d-ichs?  Perhaps a change of personality would assist matters here.

The pièce de résistance Novel Advice #3

Then lovely Lizzie- owner of the salon, popped over with some novel advice for me.

“Why don’t you shack up with a gay guy?”  she whispered in my ear.

You’ll always have company at home and then when you want sex you can go out and get it.”

Wooo-hoo-hoo! Crikey- that WOULD be a game changer, requiring a whole new set of skills.  Can anyone provide me with some advice for shacking up with a gay man?  Huh?  (And also, for randomly picking up men for meaningless saxy times!?)

I hasten to add, at this point, that there was no extra charge for the above-mentioned suggestions… just all part of the service at Flavr 😉

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained I say.  My dilemma is, which of this excellent(?) advice should I follow.  Should I:

a)  Throw it all in and move to Manland;

b)  Become a dominant possessive cow;

c)  Change my search criteria and seek gay happy times?

Vote now!!!

Comments from family, friends, bikini waxers, newsagents, barristas, accountants, the self-service assistants at Coles, income tax professionals and of course, hairdressers, most welcome.

Stay tuned for next blog, wherein I provide the top ten reasons why being single ROCKS!

Mooooooo!

Love Sparkles

Potential future housemate? This one has 'Jazz Hands'

Why are all the pretty ones batting for the other team?

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About The Tina Sparkles Experience

Welcome- these are travel and dating stories with a difference- there is no doubt Tina Sparkles has the ability to find the humour in any situation. Every blog is guaranteed to be a laugh- hope you enjoy!

One Response to “Tips for meeting men in the modern world…”

  1. Moooooo! What do you mean personality change you big cow you! 😛 but in all seriousness I vote option número 3

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